What would a brand learn if it understood my experience with the category—not just what happens when I'm actively shopping?
This week in 50-somethinghood, I bought a new bra.
Most 50+ women don’t suddenly need a bra. Most of us have been on some version of a multi-decade, intermittent, mildly infuriating quest to find the “right” bra.
We own bras. We buy bras. We return bras. We tolerate some. We love aspects of others. When we hit 50, we tend to know what we actually want from our bras.
I'm constantly sort of looking for a better bra without actively shopping for one.
In the world of bra marketing, a very large part of my years-long, intermittent quest would be considered out-of-market for the category because I’m not signaling. I’m not doing anything that can be officially tracked. I’m nowhere near a funnel.
Traditional marketing language makes it sound as though you're either in market, in the funnel signaling, or floating around outside the category somewhere.
I’m not.
I’m in the category almost every day. I’m just not in the market every day. I’m experiencing the category even if I’m not shopping for it.
Let me explain.
I wear a bra almost every day. Every day I’m having some sort of bra “experience”.
Comfortable yesterday. Strap sliding today. Too much cleavage with this shirt. Fine under that sweater. Annoying by dinner. Favorite one is missing. Why did I ever buy this one? My friend told me about one. This curator suggested one.
My day-to-day experience—what happened yesterday morning and last Tuesday, and the afternoon I finally got annoyed enough to take action and start looking for a new bra—is the story behind my buyer's journey. It’s an extremely important, multilayered experience that is often ignored. It’s a personal category story that is likely similar to the experience of thousands of other women in my age group.
For most of that journey, nobody can see it. Then one day I decide, today is the day. It's time for a new bra.
Yesterday was that day.
I told ChatGPT I liked a particular bra, but wanted a few changes. That kicked off some pretty serious bra reconnaissance.
And the brands still couldn't see me.
I was actively looking for a bra. I was absolutely in-market. But none of it was happening anywhere near their marketing funnels. It was a private ChatGPT conversation. I was in-market and invisible.
Brands can’t get access to these private interactions. But they can do the research to understand the kinds of conversations we're having—and then put that understanding into the world where AI can find it.
They can study the parts of my day-to-day experience with bras that are not directly involved with shopping. They can try to understand the compromises, annoyances, workarounds, and language of this journey. Find out what happens before I start shopping.
I don’t need to hear from a brand about its revolutionary, buttery-soft, wireless bra that promises all-day comfort and support. But how about a brand showing me they understand why buying a bra at this point in my life is such a pain in the ass?
I’ve got two bras in my drawer that technically fit, that I don’t like and try my hardest not to wear; I’ve got two more that I thought fit well, but really don’t, and the fifth one is really pretty, and I can’t keep it on my body for more than two hours max.
Understanding my experience with bras. Why I own five and hate four of them. That would get my attention.
Imagine if a brand understood all of it: the years of pretty-but-useless bras, bras that are ugly and still don’t get the job done, bras that are almost right but not quite, recommendations, searches, returns, and let's not forget the cemetery of bras in my drawer. All of it impacts the purchases I haven’t made yet.
The brand sees me when I click. But by then, I've already spent years forming opinions about what works, what doesn't, what I'm willing to tolerate and what I want next.
The brands that understand that part of the story won't need to see my private ChatGPT conversation. They'll already know what we're talking about.
And if they've done a good enough job showing that they understand it, ChatGPT might know it too.
